store, and walk right to the area where the bras and girdles, and for that matter panties are. Select what you want, continue shopping, and when you are ready to leave plunk them right down next to the cash register. Remember, that although your state might have laws against your dres- sing there is nothing that says you can't buy anything you want. Wo- men's underwear isn't illegal . . . just step up and put it with the rest of your purchases. Be cool, and don't offer any explanations. The gum chewing teenybopper on the register couldn't care less what you buy, and even when or if she asks, she won't refuse to sell them to you. Just tell her, masquerade party, joke for bachelor party, Tom Thumb wed- ding, your mother, anything. As long as you don't stand there and wilt, or start stuttering or turn to melted butter, she'll take your explanation and believe you. Joke with her, enjoy yourself, but be as strong, charm- ing and as masculine as you can. If you're single and she is cute, ask her out, she might even be the girl you've been looking for! Nighties, robes, and such as the same as dresses. Buy them as presents, as lacy and as lovely as you want. Don't be afraid to ask for a large, there just might be a large woman that you are buying for. There have to be or they wouldn't make the sizes. Remember, the most feminine nighties are bought by men anyway, girls don't usually go to that much trouble just to sleep unless they have someone to sleep with. (Good place to get your wife a present too!)

So now you're all outfitted, but for shoes. This one is a little harder. Back to the self service store again. You should know your shoe size, so you have a good place to start looking. If you wear a very big size you had best stick to the catalogues, unless you want to try a shoe store and say they are for your poor widowed mother, and then you'll probably end up with the first thing that he pulls out size 12 uglies. But for people who wear a ten or less, the self service is the best. Go on a quiet day, browze, just like any shopper, until you find what you want, then pick them up and look at them, and drop them. Wear loafers yourself and slip off your shoe, then without looking too obvious, try on your selection. I never wore socks when I was shopping for shoes, and I found that I was usually satisfied. You can't try on the whole selection this way, so you'll have to be rather selective before you drop your choice, you might be able to get away with one or two, but don't be obvious, although they'd probably just think that you were harmless, but avoid embarrassment anyway.

Makeup, and hose try the grocery store. They usually have a good selection, just put them in with your purchases and be cool, or have that girlfriend or wife along. If you want something special, go to the

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